By Dr. Ted Wiard
Editors Note: This is part of an ongoing series of columns by grief specialist Dr. Ted Wiard, dedicated to helping educate the community about emotional healing.
As we move into the next 6 months of a world that was hijacked by the COVID-19 pandemic, we are seeing more and more dysregulated emotions and reactions locally, nationally, and globally.
Over these pandemic months, we have witnessed the collective grief phases as well as individual grief as what was the norm of everyday living was taken away, and there was, and is a demand to change and redefine a new status-quo to navigate the world around us.
Denial was prominent and prevalent at the beginning, anger/protest came steaming into the equation, as the reality that the old norm was no longer available. Bargaining continues with blaming of how things should have happened as well as trying to figure out how to move forward, depression slowly seeped in as there was exhaustion of dancing in denial, jumping into anger, and desperately trying to change the past and figure out the future.
Acceptance continues to become more prominent with the acceptance that COVID-19 is real and is not going away, the demand of having to change historical behaviors and adapt to present situations.
As time continues to move forward, the grief process is continuously trying to figure out what happened in the past, what is going on presently, and how to prepare for the future. This freefall with everchanging intellectual handholds (information) has led to a high level of grief fatigue. Chronic change is exceedingly difficult as the psychological foundation does not have time to reestablish before having to transition again. Kurt Lewin’s change model breaks the change process down into 3 stages: unfreeze, change, and refreeze.
This change process demonstrates a systematic way to move from loss to a new norm, in which someone can start to navigate the world around them once again. As the pandemic continues, change is daily and there is a present unknown with a future that is unknown leading to a high level of frustration, feelings of confinement, and magnified emotions. Anxiety increases, depression is more prevalent, addictive behaviors increase, irritation rises, and all other emotions become magnified as time continues with little cognitive foundation to allow the brain to feel safe and start to settle and adapt to the new norm.
This continuous change leads to emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual fatigue. Being aware of this fatigue is helpful as each person can take actions to help support this strange time.
Finding healthy ways to connect with others, becoming more conscious of your physical and spiritual health, and continuing to find healthy ways to expand your intellect can be helpful. Fatigue can lead to futility, but finding small victories within each person’s life is essential as the psyche will glean passion from actions that are doable and help sustain stamina and perseverance as the COVID marathon continues.
Setting disciplines that help you discover moments of love, connection, hope, beauty, nature, and all experiences that help fuel faith, hope and connection will help the individual and all of humanity continue to find successes and passion. Discovering ways to find opportunities for success and hope in the middle of this crisis will benefit the individual as well the macro of humanity.
I wish you well, and until the next time, take care.
Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing and recovery from any type of loss. Direct questions to Dr. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC, founder of Golden Willow Retreat GWR@newmex.com or call at 575.776.2024.
