By Fr. Glenn Jones:
Well, the fires are still raging through New Mexico and California, to utter ruination and scouring of much of the land and property. One is reminded of scripture: “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!” (James 3:5) With nature’s resilience the land will recover in time, of course, but few of us will likely live long enough to see it back in its recent beauty and glory. Nonetheless, the ravaging of livelihoods, hearths and homes will leave scars for generations.
So, what has caused these recent tragedies which have affected the lives of so many so drastically? Cigarettes carelessly tossed, poorly-tended campfires, prescribed burns that escaped their handlers? Very likely the fires were not initiated malice, but we witness the effects of carelessness or how terribly inadequately-considered actions can destroy lives—very often after a flippant action accompanied by a thought “Oh, it won’t hurt anything” … until it does.
There are sooooo many examples of such. We might think of someone cheating on taxes to save a few bucks and ending up in prison. The defense worker who sells minor but confidential information to pay some debts, and is then blackmailed by a foreign government for the rest of their lives, eventually imprisoned for treason. More commonly there is the dalliance of married co-workers or friends in “secret” rendezvous, resulting in the destruction of so many families.
One of the great sorrows that we priests and ministers see is with unexpected deaths of people’s family and love ones during times of estrangement, or during hidden duplicities such as infidelity, theft, deception, calumny, etc. Very often the burden of having not reconciled or asked forgiveness of the offended family member or dear friend weighs upon people for the rest of their lives. We need remember Jesus’ admonition does not apply only to ourselves, but those whom we care about: “You know neither the day nor the hour” of one’s eventual earthly demise … and thus the possibility of being burdened by guilt for years, decades … a lifetime … if reconciliation is delayed or never sought. As St. Paul writes: “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27)—especially good advice for married couples, as weeds sown in overnight anger often sprout pervasive tentacles of grudge and resentment. And, by the way, that “Be angry” phrase by Paul is by no means a command, but rather is meant in the sense of “You might become angry in the moment, but do not sin by letting it linger and grow…”
Another very common regret comes with marrying without sufficient discernment, supporting the often-experienced truth of the saying: “Marry in haste, repent in leisure.” Young people especially get caught up in the teenage excitement of raging hormones and theretofore unexperienced emotions. “There’s never been a love like ours!!” I often warn such youth (and older persons at times) to remember that potential mates are on their best behavior during courtship, that they should take stock of what they see, recognizing that even faint warning signs portend of future behaviors. An irascible boyfriend often becomes an abusive husband, for instance. Or, a wandering eye during courtship may lead to insecurity for one, infidelity in the other. Not infrequently is heard from women contemplating marriage (rarely from men): “I can change him!”, or in past tense: “I thought I could change him!” That’s a “red alert” for sure. But, even imagined love is blind.
There are so many more examples of hasty actions with terrible consequences—education lost because of cheating or plagiarizing, careers lost due to theft of ideas or backstabbing, lives lost in moments of rage or reckless adrenaline-fueled pursuit of thrills, etc. But when we lose such “bets” in which we should know that the odds are stacked highly against us, many lives can be affected—often innocent bystanders who are forced to bear the brunt of the consequences—fire victims, grieving parents and siblings, impoverished family.
Sadly, we well know that many take the low road of self, first and foremost, a most stark example being the absolute carnage wrought upon so many young people’s emotional and spiritual lives by pedophile priests, ministers and family members—wolves not in sheep’s clothing, but in pastors’ clothing, forever obliterating the victims’ trust and faith in anyone.
Thus, the wisdom of patience and a well-ordered, thoughtful and virtuous life in which one does not act hastily, but one considers well and wisely. Many ears may hear that as “boring” and lacking spontaneity, but one must gauge what is more important—an immediate and selfish thrill or advantage, or rather the concern for the physical, material, psychological and spiritual welfare of others, particularly our loved ones? Perhaps in suppressing selfish “thrill” or convenience lay one of the greatest sacrifices of “love thy neighbor”. Just ask the families devastated by death of loved ones in reckless driving, or of the victims of DUIs, or of those displaced because of poorly-tended campfires.
The virtuous person thinks of the other first rather than the self, which sounds very much like Jesus’ “[I] came not to be served, but to serve.” (Matthew 20:28) Human fulfillment lay not in selfishness, but in self-LESS-ness. This is not simply a Christian principle, but is a foundation for any religion or philosophy ever promulgated for the good of Mankind. But, we are slow to learn … slow to suppress our own immediate desires for the greater good. Yet such is the characteristic of infants and toddlers. It’s time to grow up.
———-
Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good life let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish.
(James 3:13-15)
Editor’s note: Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.
