By Fr. Glenn Jones:
I was meeting some people who had had a recent death in the family recently, and in the conversation they spoke both about the various virtues and quirks of the deceased—of the kindnesses of which they had been the fortunate recipients, and also chuckling about the quirky things that drove some of them nuts at times. Concerning the latter, one incisive comment that was offered when things got a little too uncharitable: “Yeah, but she never had meanness or a bad intention.” Not a bad, though rather sideways, compliment. Would that we could say that about all people.
After all, whom among us don’t have a few quirks that we may even recognize in ourselves … but do them regardless. We might shiver to think of what people will comment on about ourselves when they’re gathered around our casket, so should we not be quite wary about throwing stones at others? It’s so easy to criticize, but to look inwardly at ourselves is infinitely more important (and productive)—taking the log out of our own eye before noting the speck in another’s eye, to use Jesus’ analogy. We need remember that unnecessary criticism or calumny of others is in itself a great fault—one that the author of the letter of James observes as ubiquitous in humanity (“… who can tame the tongue?”). Gossip, calumny, slander…all these things tend to destroy good relations or memories or the good name of others.
So, in our speech, before we start flapping our gums, maybe we should ask that simple question we should ask of all of our deeds: “What good will what I’m about to say/do actually accomplish?” Do we just want to be the one “in the know”, or to feel superior, or to get in a spiteful dig at a person who annoys us? Do we not sow the seeds of resentment and division, and even judgment of ourselves, when we do such? Have you not ever felt as a critic left the company of your little clique: “Can you believe what he just said of ol’ Bill, and Bill’s such a good guy and did him favors!. What a jerk!!” And judgmental criticism and resentment not only propagates, but multiplies.
St. Paul reminds us to “say only the good things that men need to hear”, and “Let your speech be gracious”. Wise advice, even to the non-Christian. Yet we tend to fall into the gutter that society cultivates with social media—hurling insults and criticism across the digital abyss, longing for “likes” or to be “friended” or “followed”. How sad it is, don’t you think, to neglect (or even damage) real face-to-face human relationships simply to tally up anonymous followers or accolades. After all, what real meaning does an increasing counter of “likes” mean, anyway. You can post just about any opinion, no matter how hateful or deviant, and you’re going to get “likes” and “followed” by the similarly minded. Knowing that fact, we might consider: “Who do I want to be like minded with? Is what I’m espousing good or evil … helpful or harmful, to myself and/or others?”
I had the occasion to visit the graves of my parents recently—the first time since my mother died several years ago, as they are buried quite a distance from where I live. As most of us experience in such moments, how poignant it is to stand at the resting place of our loved ones, opening the floodgates of dormant memories.
As the Bible notes, human life is much like a flower, which blossoms so very briefly in bright array, but then is gone in a very short time not to be seen again, leaving only the memory of whatever beauty and perfume it imprinted upon those who experienced it. And yet that perfume—good or bad—lingers, and the seed produced in that blossom’s short existence will continue its legacy—whether for good or evil.
Should not, then, life’s goal be to imprint beauty in the mind of others, and of God? … to seek to bring joy, peace, contentment to others as best we can during our short season? And are not the traditional moral laws all aimed toward that very thing—to not steal, slander, to eschew greed and envy, etc. And as Jesus expands on those, to not only not do the bad, but to exercise charity. It’s not enough simply to not trip the elderly lady, but rather to go out of your way to help her with her groceries—to go that extra mile. It’s not enough simply to not wound, but to heal. Not enough to not berate, but to soothe and assist. Not enough to not fight, but to try to make peace. Not enough to claim: “Not my problem!”, but to help solve the problem.
We cannot help but wonder what our own life’s legacy will be, but do we not want it to be a good one … one worthy of remembrance? Yet no matter our condition, it is within our grasp to make it so—maybe not to be written in paper pages or digital copy perhaps, but even more valuably engraved in the minds and memories of all whom we touch in our lives.
Scripture tells us that a workman is worth his wages, and that we are judged by what we do in this life. Should we not, then, seek to hear from our fellow laborers, and from “the boss”: “Well done, good and faithful servant…”? Go forth then; you know what to do.
Editor’s note: Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.
