Clergy from left, Pastor Mary Ann Hill, Pastor Nicolé Ferry, Deacon Cynthia Biddlecomb, retired; Associate Priest Lynn Finnegan and Pastor Deb Church. Photo by Nate Limback/ladailypost.com
By LYNN FINNEGAN
Associate Priest
The Episcopal Church of the Holy Faith
Santa Fe
“The first duty of love is to listen,” theologian Paul Tillich wrote. Listening is a skill that can be practiced and perfected. The Chinese symbol for “To Listen” is a succinct illustration of listening well.
The symbol contains brush strokes denoting the ears (to hear), the eyes (to see), the mind (to think), and the heart (to feel), all surrounding a stroke that means undivided attention (to focus).
When we engage ears, eyes, mind, and heart, and give someone our undivided attention instead of looking at a cell phone or already planning a response, we are listening well.
While we may be able to practice better listening, listening is also an attitude; a moral act grounded in love and respect. As Christians, we believe every human is created in the image of God, and therefore worthy of love and respect. As one popular meme states “You will never look into the eyes of someone God does not love.” The follow up to that meme is equally important: we need to look into many different eyes! Listening trapped in an echo chamber of like-minded people, news programming, and social media posts is stunted listening.
The Gospel of Mark contains a powerful story of listening well with love and respect. Jesus is on his way to the home of an influential religious leader. The man’s daughter is dying, and the leader has begged Jesus to heal her. An urgent response is needed and Jesus and the crowd with him are in a hurry. As Jesus strides toward the leader’s house, a woman approaches him and reaches to touch his robe, hoping she too can be healed. The woman has been bleeding uncontrollably for twelve years, described by the writer: “She had endured much under many physicians, and had spent all she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse.” A desperate situation too many in our modern culture can relate to!
The woman’s action is bold. In her culture she is ostracized for being a) a woman; b) diseased and thus “unclean”; c) sinful (illness was believed to be punishment for sin); and d) poor. She is a nobody. In comparison to the needs of the important religious leader, she is considered worthless. Jesus treats her, though, with love and respect. He stops. He calls attention to her. He not only heals her, but he patiently listens to her. The passage relates that when questioned, the woman “told him the whole truth.” Jesus listened while she told the whole long story of going from doctor to herbalist to magician to shaman, spending every coin in desperate hope, and then finally defying societal prohibitions and joining the crowd. Jesus looked her in the eye and saw someone God loved.
We can develop the skills of listening well, but unless we accept moral responsibility of love and respect for everyone – a love and respect grounded in God’s love for us – our skills will be selectively used. The first duty of love is to listen.
Editor’s note: ‘All Shall Be Well’ is a column written by local women clergy including ELCA Deacon Cynthia Biddlecomb, M.Div., retired (czoebidd@gmail.com); Pastor Nicolé Ferry, Bethlehem Evangelical Lutheran Church (pastornicole@bethluth.com); Associate Priest Lynn Finnegan, The Episcopal Church of the Holy Faith, Santa Fe (rev.lynn@holyfaithchurchsf.org); Pastor Deb Church, White Rock Presbyterian Church (pastor@wrpchurch.com) and The Rev. Mary Ann Hill, Rector, Trinity on the Hill Episcopal Church (momaryannhill@gmail.com).
