By MICHELLE HARKEY-WILDE
Los Alamos

Over the past seven weeks I’ve been presenting some options for making some changes in life. Admittedly, change can be difficult and ignite a cascade of consequences, which look like resistance, but is actually a self-defense mechanism against moving too quickly. This is why gradual change is often more lasting. 

There’s a tension between change and comfort.

The comfort zone is where you feel safe and comfortably stagnant. However, there’s also some discontent lurking there. If you’re well within your comfort zone you will not be learning or growing. This means your comfort zone might actually be shrinking, which is a frightening thought to a growth junkie like me.

The comfort zone has a transition right at the edge. This is where fear resides.

The fear says there might be failure or embarrassment if you push through. The fear says you’ve tried this before and it didn’t work then, so it certainly won’t work now. The fear says you don’t know enough, or aren’t good enough, or aren’t something else which seems critical in the moment.

This fear is trying to protect you, but most often all it does is keep you small instead of stepping into your greatness. Your fear knows that stretching too far outside the comfort zone can lead to overwhelm. Thank the fear for warning you about possible pitfalls and alerting you to your hidden thoughts (so you can change them).

And then (assuming it is safe, moral, legal and ethical) push through the fear at the edge of the comfort zone and move into the first part of the growth zone.

Just inside the growth zone is a learning curve. This can be both exciting and intimidating.

The larger growth zone is what you move into once you’ve been moving along the learning curve for a while. You enter it when you start to feel you’re understanding a little bit of what to do. Things tend to get easier from there. This is the reward of persevering through fear and learning.

So, feel into the discontent of the comfort zone – and then take action to shift into growth. Remember to take it slow and steady. Be certain to make your goals achievable but challenging. Overshooting the growth zone will put you solidly in fear paralysis. (We’ll chat about how to tell the difference next week.)

Give it a try with just a little thing this week, perhaps simply smiling at a stranger. Whatever it is, have fun with it.

Michelle Harkey-Wilde is a Body-Connection Coach, licensed mental health counselor, massage therapist and integrative wellness specialist. This column is for educational purposes only and does not create a client-practitioner relationship. You are responsible to exercise caution in implementing any ideas contained herein and accept responsibility for your actions. Consult with your physical and mental health practitioners before implementing any new practice. Follow Michelle at michellewwilde.com.