By Fr. Glenn Jones:

Ah, marriage. Ah, romance. As I forementioned last week, we had a lovely wedding Saturday. It’s quite the treat when we priests and ministers can witness at the tying of the knot with young people we’ve known since they were young lads or lasses. Of course, as you ladies know, dads almost never think anyone good enough for their daughters—that innate protective instinct. “Who dare think himself worthy of MY little girl?!”

Courtship, of course, exists to find someone with whom one who seems at least compatible and hopefully moves the heart toward love. In earlier days of arranged marriages, the family decided who was worthy to join the family—often more centered on social status and profitability than on movement of the heart.

But evaluating worthiness is a constant occupation for all of us, whether we’re conscious of it or not. Is this or that person worth my attention? Worthy to be my friend? Worthy to be a business partner?

Of course, depending on the type of relationship, we’re going to have different standards, though often they coincide. An employee, for example, is evaluated for dependability, productivity and trustworthiness. A soldier for the same, but also for fitness and courage. A musician assessed for his musical talent, an accountant for his proficiency and accuracy, a doctor for his diagnostic and treatment acumen, scientists and engineers for their innovative thought and proficiency with mathematics and physics. And a religious person for his belief, ardor and sincerity.

Now, we can be our own worst critics—“worst” meaning either overly critical, or on the flip side, not sufficiently critical. Take that statement above: “Is that person worthy of my attention?” Some tend to think: “No, I don’t mix with such hoi polloi … such inconsequential persons.” But any Christian who would say this would do well to re-evaluate his faith, and his sincerity in that faith, for Jesus Himself rubbed elbows with some of the even despised and feared in his society—tax collectors, lepers, public sinners, etc. And, is the Christian’s stated goal to be like Christ?

If we truly believe Jesus died on the cross for all people—out of God’s love for all people—who are we to despise another person. One who is haughty need remember that “accidents” of fate—where born, where reared, inherent ability, etc. As St. Paul writes, there are varieties of gifts, and all are for use for the betterment of the world around us.

Certainly one might want to protect oneself and family from those who advocate evil and crime; even St. Paul writes elsewhere: “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” (1 Corinthians 15:33) But those who have simply been battered by life we ought view as brothers and sisters in need—need of material, spiritual or emotional succor. If we eschew the poor who are poor for no fault of their own, who is the one who is truly unworthy? For “if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body [even] to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:2-3)

It reminds us of the legend of virtue of St. Lawrence, deacon and martyr of the early Church in Rome. Under one of the Roman persecutions, the authorities thought the Church had a fortune hidden away, so was ordered to bring the Church’s treasure to a prefect. Lawrence went through the city and gathered all the poor and sick supported by the Church and brought them to the prefect, saying: “This is the Church’s treasure!” Well, as you can imagine, that didn’t go over well…and so the prefect condemned Lawrence to death by being tied on top of an iron grill over a slow fire that roasted his flesh little by little.

The legend is that God gave him so much strength and joy that he even joked while being tortured:  “Turn me over…I’m done on this side!” And before he died, he prayed that the city of Rome might be converted to Jesus and that the faith might spread all over the world. And now it is the center of the Catholic faith.

Or one might remember others like St. Francis of Assisi, the rich kid who forswore his family’s wealth to live in poverty as a beggar. Or St. Elizabeth of Hungary, the princess who gave all her wealth to the poor and to build hospitals, finally dying herself and buried in her last remaining dress—the rest of her wardrobe having been sold for alms. Or St. Peter Claver, the Spanish priest who cared for the Africans bound for slavery arriving in Columbia, cleansing them and bathing their wounds with his own hands for decades. To none of these, and many other good men and women, was anyone found “unworthy”. Who would be less worthy: slaves … or slavers? Those who suffer and those who show mercy, or those who cause the suffering?

WE do tend to be drawn to others most like ourselves—those of the same socio-economic class, educational level, race, native culture, etc. But for the Christian…absent any evil intentions, should not all such divisions be moot when considering the love of God for all? Do we dare despise anyone who is loved so much by God that Jesus died for them? If we love and accept members of our earthy family, how much more should we accept those—all—of the Body?

So, when we want to evaluate someone, we do best to evaluate ourselves … to see how closely we live up to those standards of loving God and loving neighbor. For in the end, all else is dust and ashes, because only “… faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

Editor’s note: Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.