By Fr. Glenn Jones:

I’ve recently been watching a historical fiction series set in the 1200s about conflicts—internecine and otherwise—of a tribal group in the western Asian region—constant wars and conquests, treachery and intrigue.  Being a regionally-produced series, it’s very interesting to observe the emphasis on various ways local cultural emphases and perceptions differ from our own.  But one thing that strikes starkly is the constant theme of revenge—every insult, backstab or perceived slight eliciting a nefarious plot to “get even”… often involving the “if he brings a knife, you bring a gun” escalation principle. Round and round the cycle turns … endlessly … to the destruction of many. And it WILL turn ceaselessly until someone has the foresight and wisdom to break that cycle—not by destroying or retaliation, but rather with the strength and courage required for humility and forgiveness.

As we know all too well, the pursuit of vengeance is hardly limited to any people or part of the globe; it seems endemic to human nature, probably first developing as a personal and family-group defense mechanism, I would think: eliminate the threat. But while humans still compete for resources, position, fame, etc., long past are the times of widely-scattered hunter-gatherer groups; we are crowded and living close together. In our day, in the time it would take to get revenge on one person, ten others have probably offended us in one way or another. This is likely why we still see family feuds primarily in remote rural areas; they simply have the time! The “That [insert vulgar name here] did this or that to me/my family 30 years ago; he’s my enemy forever!” type of stuff. And yet … the same two are in church every Sunday. Sigh. 

Such reminds of that scene from Godfather III in which the Don Corleone is seeking counsel from a bishop about the cycles of violence among many ostensible Christians—in this case Italian Mafia. The bishop analogizes by retrieving a submerged stone from a fountain and, breaking it open, tells him (paraphrasing): “See this stone. It has been submerged for hundreds of years, and yet…inside…still dry.”

What will break the cycle of hatred? It is, of course, none other than the strength and courage of humility—the realization that hatred simply breeds further hatred … violence simply breeds further violence … and being strong enough to break the cycle by being “the adult in the room” and refusing to retaliate. 

I know, I know … that’s a tough one. Our visceral reaction is to lash out in an “eye for an eye” Newtonian “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” manner. But then … where would it end? Along that way is only a spiraling futility.

Christians should never use the “eye for an eye” standard for directing their lives and actions, for Jesus overrode that early principle of justice (good for its time in curbing excessive legal punishment) when He taught: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also…You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” “But why!”, we’re tempted to protest. Our Lord continues: “…so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:38-45) 

In other words, as God loves each person despite his/her faults or failings or even selfish and evil actions, and calls Christians to do the same. After all, when St. Paul writes that God: “…desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth,” (1Timothy 2:4), he doesn’t add:  “…except for this race, or that criminal, or this type of sinner…” Gracias a Dios! And, as mentioned here often in the past: since Christ died out of love for each and every person, do we dare hate or despise anyone whom Christ Himself—God Himself—loves that much?

Few, if any, among us are free from personal and selfish actions that could have initiated cycles of revenge. The only way to interrupt such endless cycles is to be big enough to follow the lead of Jesus and react only in love of the person—for love of Christ if we cannot yet muster up sufficient love within ourselves for the offender. Praying for that person—and for our own patience and our own increase in grace to become more like Christ—can salve any wound.

Yet, this does not mean being a doormat, either; often the greater charity lay in pursuing justice. The dividing line lay in the motivation: is it for personal retribution, or is it to teach the other for his good and for the protection of others? As a child must be disciplined to guide him toward the good, so the greater charity for many adults who suffer a type of arrested development of selfishness is to subject them to the discipline of justice—both to protect our other neighbors whom we are to also love, as well as to (hopefully) enlighten and rehabilitate the offender toward bettering himself.

So let us be patient, and have the courage to NOT retaliate—in word (social media—ahem!) OR evil action. After all, we read in the book of Baruch: “Blessed are we, O Israel; for what pleases God is known to us!” (Baruch 4:4) … and we read Jesus word: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40) Therefore, in imitation and emulation of He Whom we follow and profess to be Our Lord, let His words be ever in our minds and on our lips when we are wounded: “Father, forgive them; they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.