By Fr. Glenn Jones:

Well … 2023 coming to a close. How time flies. So many things still fresh in the ol’ memory—the pandemic (already almost four years ago!), wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, presidents come and gone, space shuttles and their disasters, moon landings. 9/11. We “boomers” seem to be all retiring … or, inevitably, passing. Decades go so quickly. It’s like the country songs “Don’t Blink” and “Remember When”.

But now we come into the new year, which always brings new hope for the future. Fortuitously, the Sunday within the eight days (“octave”) of Christmas—the Catholic Church always celebrates the feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. The family bond is, obviously, one of the strongest … and, indeed, is the building block of society.

After all, most of us don’t normally tend to spend thousands of dollars and seemingly endless hours of chaotic travel time going to visit friends, no matter how close they are. But we DO do that with family—especially during the holidays. We have that natural desire to be among those with whom we are most comfortable and famili-ar.

We are privileged with this feast so near to Christmas in order to emphasize family, which Vatican II called “the domestic Church” where knowledge and love of God and neighbor are first taught and emphasized by word and example. But, believer or not, all families do well to try to model their lives on that holiest of families. Not that we can ever reach such perfection or holiness, but we imitate/emulate them  nonetheless, knowing that the more we resemble them, the closer to God we are, and the closer we will be to one another.

Examining the family … let us look at a few things.

Spouses: By virtue of the sacrament of true and valid marriage, you are bound to one another “‘til death do you part”—bound to one another in the image of Christ with His Church. Marriage grants grace for man and woman to love one another as Christ loves His Church—how He loves each of us. You are called to live the very charity of Christ who gave Himself on the Cross. In the plan of God, marriage is the foundation of family since the institution of marriage and conjugal love are ordained not solely for the closeness of spouses, but also to the procreation and education of children, who are the living reflection of spousal love, and permanent sign of their unity. (Pope John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio, 14)

Parents are always the first and primary teacher of children—a role not to be delegated, not even to the Church, because it is the parents who have the greatest influence over the children. As we see so often, as is the father, so becomes the son; as is the mother, so becomes the daughter. And children learn faith most perfectly upon their parents’ knees … and by seeing their parents on their knees.

Now, the husband and father of the traditional family has his model in St. Joseph—patiently and humbly working at his carpenter’s bench to provide, protect and lead his family. To his neighbors Joseph was just a carpenter, of seemingly no particular importance. But his sanctity comes from his fidelity to God and dutiful service to, and love for, his family. You fathers may not make headlines, but you teach and lead your children, hopefully towards Heaven. It’s an obligation to take quite seriously, and one to which you will ultimately be called to account.

Wives and mothers: Mary is your unequaled example—faithful, diligent, thoughtful, loving wife and mother, struggling in partnership with her husband and in the nurturing of her child. A mother worries for her family until her last breath, so turn to Mary and her example for courage and strength, as she refused to leave Jesus even in some of His most dire moments. Her example and intercession will acquire for you strength to traverse the hard, self-sacrificial road of motherhood.

Along with her husband, the wife has that great task to perform: leading her family to goodness and the eternal salvation offered by God—the greatest work possible. Your greatest joy in Heaven will be (we pray)—after the beatific vision of God—surrounded by your family which, aided by God’s grace, you helped lead there.

Finally, children—young and old: your duty is to love, honor and respect your parents … obeying them ‘til adulthood … but even then, always respectful and kind, caring and supporting—especially in the loneliness and weaknesses of old age. Likewise to your siblings. Your model is none other than Jesus Himself who, though God, subjected Himself to Joseph and Mary and obeyed them.

Know that showing honor and obedience to parents—and to ALL elders—is that which is honorable; likewise, to dishonor them dishonors and disgraces yourself. The disrespect of a child towards elders—especially to parents—is repugnant to all. As scripture tells us: “With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; and what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?” (Sirach 7:27-28)

Your parents love you more than anyone except God Himself. And know that: “Whoever honors his father atones for sins…When he prays, he is heard; he stores up riches who reveres his mother.” (Sirach 3:3-4)

Finally … siblings: as much as you might not believe it during youthful squabbles, you will be one another’s best friends and faithful support all of your lives. So concern yourselves with the good of one another … remembering the Psalm: “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” (Psalm 133:1) Nothing pleases parents more than that.

So, as St. Paul exhorts all: “Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…forgiving each other…And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.” (Colossians 3:12-14). As Pope John Paul II wrote: “To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others.”

So … to all in the new year …

The Lord bless you and keep you:
The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you:
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.

(Numbers 6:24-26)

Editor’s note: Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.