By AMBER POPE
Rivera Family Funeral Home of Los Alamos
Often times there are no words to describe the peculiar relatedness of things we see in the funeral industry – dates, times, names, cycles within seasons… Most of the time these things are subtle, but occasionally it is glaring, such was the case for the beautiful Feldman/Whitworth family recently.
After suffering the loss of their teenage daughter, Sophia, 3 years ago, the family came to us broken-hearted at the sudden loss of Sophia’s mother, Julia. Julia was still a daughter herself, a mother, wife, and friend to many. It took a few minutes for me to piece together the goose-bump invoking realization that Julia had passed from this life on the same day 3 years after her beloved daughter’s passing.
The family requested to honor Julia with a traditional Catholic funeral and burial in a couple days’ time. My heart was heavy thinking there would be something or someone that would cause me to call back with bad news. As the Family shuffled out the door that day I actually prayed for a miracle, simply forgetting that God had already provided. I live and work in a special place where people are tenacious and full of grace.
My first call was to the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church, knowing they were hosting another family’s service the night prior to the requested date. Father John and his staff agreed to help with no questions asked. He had given Last Rites at the Medical Center only the day before. The county utility department got busy accommodating last minute staff to work on the weekend and got back to me in minutes. Gillian at the flower shop was heavyhearted for the family’s news and agreed to make and deliver something beautiful on short notice without even a sigh.
By the time I had made these calls, my colleagues had rallied a vehicle and two team members who were happy to re-arrange their Saturday to help. I was beyond relieved to report to the gathering family that we could actually pull this off. They told me of other folks who had stepped up all over the place to offer their support, as well. Somehow, the family themselves had been able to pull off the several things I tasked them with, lovingly inviting me into their home full of people the very next evening.
Mr. Feldman was appreciative, but not totally surprised after his experience in Los Alamos after losing Sophia. The stories he shared of the outpouring of support, particularly from teachers and students, were powerful. It is easy to presume that people must have been so willing to accommodate this event because they knew what the family had already suffered. Truthfully, not one person had asked me who had passed away before they considered whether or not showing up was the right thing to do.
In loving memory of Julia, our community provided a beautiful act of service by working together swiftly, smoothly, and without hesitation. This is what makes working in death and dying worth it. This is what makes me proud to live here. I am very grateful and I know the families who continually receive the communities’ love and compassion are grateful as well. Thank you, Los Alamos, for being a magical place to do a hard job and for others to survive hard things.
“Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness, the tender mercy of its people, their respect for the law of the land and their loyalty to high ideals.” –William Gladstone
