Solo TravelerIf all we know about a country is from news reports and movies, it’s a guarantee we don’t really know much.
My youthful impression of India was that everyone was dirt poor and on the verge of starvation. I was shocked to discover Weight Watchers is big business in Delhi. The first time I ever flew over the ocean was on a trip to India in 1985. I went with my boyfriend, who was born in Lucknow. Our travels, to visit his extended family, took up the entire three-week vacation.
The way I met them all was at dinner and house parties. I quickly learned that upper class Indian women keep a lifelong notebook on social functions. They don’t want to accidentally serve the same food or wine, or use the same combination of linens and china. It would be embarrassing to serve the same thing twice to a guest.
From the guest’s point of view, if I’ve had a wonderful dish or experience, it wouldn’t offend me in the least to have it again! House parties were the best way to visit many relatives at once. Those not on speaking terms acknowledged and then avoided each other with no fear of an argument. One universal thing about Indians is how conscious they are of feelings and relationships with others. People are more important than anything else, especially in one’s family.
Aroop’s relatives were successful, well-educated people, so I was surprised when a cousin I’d been talking to for a while asked how I managed to survive my childhood in America. I had no idea what she meant. Survive? She wondered how children could grow up to be decent people in a country where everyone has a gun, cars blow up every time there’s a crash, and gang warfare takes the lives of so many. All she knew of my country was what she saw in movies and on the news.
Just as I thought most people in India were starving and the country was wracked by poverty, it’s not the full picture. Certainly, hunger is reality for many, but even 30 years ago, there was an ongoing attempt by the government to limit family size, make farming more efficient, educate all children, and provide adequate health care for everyone.
Though the population continued to expand, the standard of living has increased for most Indians and the improving economy stemmed the “brain drain,” the exodus of the best-educated professionals to the West.
If I were to base my concept of India on Bollywood movies, I would think people routinely burst into song and dance on the streets accompanied by a full orchestra. I would believe women are in constant danger of being abused and mistreated by evil men and can only be saved by true love. In a country where the majority of marriages are arranged and some couples never meet until their wedding day, the movies are all about romance winning out.
The thing about other countries is that they are a bit like the moon; movies and newscasts are just a finger pointing at it. To know the moon, we have to go there and experience the reality for ourselves.
Editor’s note: Sherry Hardage lives in Los Alamos and has been traveling solo in the Americas, Europe and Asia since she retired from Honeywell in 2009. She is a photographer, writer and guide who organizes tours of Chiapas, Mexico through her website www.mexadventures.com. Follow the continuing adventures on her travel blog https:////sherryhardagetravel.blogspot.com/. Hardage welcomes comments via email hardagesa@aol.com.
