“Who did you drink your first beer with?”

I was caught off guard when someone asked me this the other day.

The truth was that there was never a time when alcohol was not a part of my childhood experience. My father was an alcoholic, as were many of his relatives and friends.  My brothers and I would make a game out of seeing who could get dad to give them the most sips of his beer.

 

I was around 12 when I convinced him to let me have my own. My mother told me that I was drunk on my third birthday and she spent the next couple of days nursing a very sick child.

 

Who did I have my first beer with? I’m sure it was my father, but it wasn’t some magical bonding moment. In fact, growing up, my father and I shared very few “Rockwell painting,” bonding moments. Like many sons, I rebelled against him to hurt him. Ironically, I did so by following in his footsteps. At some point in my life, my father became addicted to cocaine as well. I had heard rumors of such, but until I developed my own addiction to cocaine and meth, I wasn’t sure. (It takes one to know one.)

 

Again, my rebellion against my father was bound to some cruel irony. (I know, “Worst Father’s Day message ever!” Please, bear with me.)

The Bible says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 NASB).

My father would have told you that he was a God-fearing man, but his parenting methods were less than Christ like.

 

The examples that he set for us did not make our paths easier. As a father myself, I often forget that every action I take has significance in the life of my children.

Often, we succumb to the delusion that not everything we do affects our kids. We are wrong, dead wrong! The father who uses tobacco is likely going to have a child do the same.

 

A father who treats his wife poorly teaches his kids that this is acceptable.  The father who tries to hide his drug use, does so in vain, and influences his children to do the same.

 

Make no mistake, you cannot hide any act, nor can you expect your children to not be influenced by your actions. To think otherwise is delusional.

In August of 2001, I was an alcoholic and a drug addict—just like my daddy. My father, however, chose to get help. He found a Victory Outreach and gave his life to Jesus.

 

By this time, I was 25 years old. I think that most people would say my dad was “a day late and a dollar short” of being a good father. I would say they were wrong!

My dad gave himself, and everything about his life, to Jesus.  It was so sudden and intense that those of us who knew him were in absolute shock and unable to process what really transpired. We waited, cynically, for this “phase” to pass and for him to go back to his old ways, but he never did.

 

“If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin–because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.” (Romans 6:5-7 NIV). 

 

My dad allowed his old self to be crucified with Christ. That person was dead and would never return. He became—and anyone who knows him will attest to this—a new creation, molded by God in the image of Christ.

 

Immediately after this, my father began praying for his children.

 

He took every opportunity to speak with us and share this truth and freedom that he found in God.

 

I rejected his words and fought against his prayers, but my father persisted with a love and passion that was given to him by God the Father. In October of 2004, I too found myself dropping to my knees and asking God to free me as He did my father.

 

He was faithful, and I found myself on a new journey, with a new hope, and new freedom. Today, my life is unlike anything that would be expected of me. 

This, in no small part, is because of my dad, who was man enough to admit his weakness and allow God to make him strong.

 

It was, in no small part, because my father chose to step out of the delusion and give his life to the one true God.

It was, in no small part, because my father chose to emulate his heavenly Father.

 

In these past 16 years, my dad has been a better father to me and my siblings than most people will know their entire lives. Parents, please know that what you do matters, and that you will always be a mom or a dad.

 

It is never too late to choose to be the Godly parent that straightens paths and encourages your children to live in freedom and hope.

I don’t remember my first beer with my dad, but I remember the first time he laid his hands on me and prayed. That is a moment worth discussing.

 

Apá, lo quiero mucho, y le doy gracia a Dios, cada dia, por usted.
Happy Father’s Day.
 
If you have a Biblical question, comment, or concern, please feel free to email me at raul@lavistanaz.org. To find out more about La Vista Church, or to hear this and other messages, visit our website at www.lavistanaz.org. Follow Pastor Raul on Twitter @RaulGranillo007

 

Please come join us as we fix our eyes on Jesus. We meet at 9 a.m. Sundays for Sunday school and at 10 a.m. for worship. Everyone is welcome!